Alright fellas, I hope you have a beverage near you because it’s time to get salty.

If you haven’t heard the news, Rihanna…

Yes, Bad Girl Riri… the apple of our eyes…

The women that curved the hottest rappers and singers in the game multiple time…

RIHANNA IS PREGNANT WITH ASAP ROCKY’S CHILD

Rihanna is pregnant with her first child thanks to none other than ASAP Rocky.

I think it’s about time you sip that glass of water right about now.

This reminds us of how horrible 2020 was of a year and then right towards the end of it, a bunch of iconic celebrities started dying as if the year itself was giving a final middle finger to all of our hopes and prayers.

Realistically, the only joyous moment in this terrible news is reading some of the comments on Twitter from the entire black male community.

Naturally, most of them were salty as we don’t know what. They were meant in a jovial manner but cats were definitely throwing daggers…

“I have information that may leed to the arrest of ASAP Rocky”, or “ASAP Rocky’s music is no longer allowed to be played in my car”.

Pretty hilarious.

THIS IS A W FOR BOTH PARTIES

In any case, from our Black Men Breakdowns perspective, we kind of see this as a W for both parties.

Rihanna successfully no longer has to address “elephants in the room”, abuser-in-chief Chris Brown and that boy from up North…

…And she is kind of in the power position with ASAP Rocky since he doesn’t seem in a rush to lock her down and he’s got his own dough.

We’re unsure to what extent Rihanna is looking for that ring on the finger, but let’s keep it real she probably has 2 to 3 times the amount of money that ASAP has so why would she be in a rush to let him play “kept man”.

As much as we love Rocky it seems all he wants to do all day sit next to runways in Milan and swap outfits with drill rappers in Londontown.

It’s a London, ting, aye?

But serious not hating on ASAP he is cool as a cucumber, pause, but he doesn’t seem like the… fatherly type we’ll put it that way.

On ASAP’s side, he takes a W as well.

He has successfully shot up the hottest club on planet Earth.

He’s basically gone to Studio 64 in 1972 and left it looking like Dawn of The Dead. Nothing but bodies.

His offspring will probably be the most talented “jiggy-est” people we’ve ever seen.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Overall, this news is pretty much the best all around.

We get to make jokes and the couple gets to enjoy their lives.

Especially since Rocky doesn’t drop enough music to keep the streets fed and Rihanna is busy building up a billion dollar empire day-to-day with Fent-ee…

The only question is will we get a more drippy version of the Lemonade and four forty-four roll out at some point in the future?

Leave a comment below with either your funniest joke or your honest reaction to the news.